Latest

Apocalypse Z (2013)

Apocalypse Z (2013) (also known as Zombie Massacre) makes Brad Pitt’s mega-buster World War Z (2013), which tried manfully to transpose the walking dead to the mainstream with little success, look like an Oscar worthy literary adaptation. Directors Luca Boni and Marco Ristori’s slice of shlock, starring Daniel Vivian, Mike Mitchell and Tara Cardinal, is truly woeful in every way imaginable – and then some.

There’s really not much of a storyline here, so we won’t dwell on it for long. Suffice to say that a group of Neanderthal mercenaries are sent to a remote part of Eastern Europe by the American government, after an accident at a research plant turns the local populace into flesh eating zombies. Under the impression that they are there to wipe out the evidence by planting a nuclear bomb the gang of ex-criminals soon discover that they’ve been-double crossed by the powers-that-be and that the zombies are actually the least of their worries.

 

5d7e91a64bba4102b5835f00c2e35685

 

Let’s dissect the evidence of this lamentable production in the best mad scientist manner (and yes, there’s even one of them present too). Firstly the zombies themselves. There’s little you can do with these horror stalwarts to make them appear fresh. Here however all the regular qualities you’ve come to expect have been jettisoned. These zombies run instead of shamble and can even be despatched with nothing more sophisticated than a smack in the face with an iron bar. Call me old fashioned, but I think zombies should show guts when they die, or at the very least loose their heads over the possibility of their imminent demise.

 

b2086c6af4d54feeafd47edde68b3183

 

Next up the cast (of unknowns). The male members of the group make certain well known actors who have progressed from body builders and wrestlers to more challenging roles, look like Shakespearian protégés. Of the five female characters? Well, one says nothing at all for all of the five minutes that she appears, whilst it’s about half way through the film before the main woman Eden (Cardinal) speaks. As for the others? I think it pretty much sums it up if I tell you that the film’s best performance comes from an unnamed female who becomes a zombie even before the opening titles and isn’t seen again.

Round this off with a script which requires the cast to run around exclaiming S . . t! and F . . k! at every opportunity, and Apocalypse Z is the perfect example of work by filmmakers who believe that just because you’re a horror fan it follows that you can’t appreciate a clever, sophisticated or well made film. Enough said.

Cleaver Patterson

Advertisements
About screenandgone (223 Articles)
I'm a journalist and film critic based in London. I'm currently the News Editor of the Flickfeast film website, for which I also review new film releases. As well as this I review films, do features and interviews and cover festivals for various other magazines and on-line publications. I've created the Screen & Gone blog, so that I can share my thoughts and bring a new perspective to films, old and new, which may have passed you by.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: